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Campaign News Archive
Doctors baffled with Cheney's oil leakage
July 17, 2003
Press corps mauls new press secretary
July 17, 2003
President privately reverses opinion on sodomy after being told what sodomy is
July 17, 2003
Limbaugh will be voice of "common asshole" on ESPN NFL show
July 17, 2003
Christian Right adopts "72 virgins in heaven" doctrine
July 16, 2003
CIA pulled from war on terror, put in charge of catering
July 15, 2003
Press secretary Fleischer's hypnosis of press corps wearing off
July 11, 2003
President thanks Africa for rap music, break-dancing
July 11, 2003
All citizens celebrate their true independence at behest of President and mass-media
July 4, 2003
President points out that Iraqi war is over, no more killing is allowed
July 3, 2003
Americans prepare to stop caring about politics as NFL season gears up
July 2, 2003
Ann Coulter suspended for racist comments in Treason book
July 2, 2003
President Bush has picture taken with group of Negroes
July 2, 2003
President dares Iraqi militants to attack U.S. troops
July 2, 2003
White House officials still deciding how to tell President of Thurmond's passing
July 1, 2003
On the Road: President in Florida to meet with loyal Buchanan supporters
June 30, 2003
President to wear flight suit at all public functions
June 19, 2003
NewsMax to sell dead Iraqis as souvenirs
June 10, 2003
White House finds economist who believes tax cut will improve economy
May 30, 2003
White House spokesman resigning, Execution planned for July
May 27, 2003
Bush team to seek reversal of American Idol vote at Supreme Court
May 26, 2003
Bush begins re-selection bid, Supporters plan to raise $202 gazillion
May 25, 2003
Bush: Homeland Security Department has Texas terrorist legislators surrounded
May 24, 2003
Bush: Attackers to suffer same fate as Bin Laden, Hussein
May 23, 2003
President destroys Syria during change in flight plan
May 22, 2003
9-11 anniversary to be moved back to coincide with Republican Convention
May 21, 2003
GRAND OLD PARTY HEADLINES
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''Victory over Iraq'' celebration draws tens to Times Square | | Dogs blast Sen. Santorum's remarks | | 9-11 anniversary to be moved back to coincide with Republican Convention | | Report: Ari Fleischer and Saeed al-Sahaf never seen at same time | | Americanization of Iraq complete: Baghdad now Detroit | | Report: Americans already feeling pinch of worldwide freedom supply shortage | | Pentagon sending thousands of Hussein statues to Iraq for destruction | | White House pleased with latest Iraqi attempt at looting, rioting | | DNA taken from Saddam's bunker matches killer of Nicole Simpson | | Report: America hated by all people on Earth, several smart monkeys | | Thousands of upgraded Bin Laden models rolling out of Mid-East factories | | President admits he thought Iraqis were all ''little people'' | | Jesus, I can't take this shit anymore | | God reveals that He and Allah are actually same entity | | Officials unsure Dick Cheney was man on tape, can't remember where "secure" location is | | Bush upset with poor cheat codes | | Al Qaeda recruiting office overflowing with energetic enlistees | | President assures Americans: We won't lose anyone I care about | | Destruction of Iraqi television station spurs uprising | | Disney awarded Iraq rebuilding contract | | New poll results: 70% of Americans approve of war, Journey top band of all time | | Bin Laden holds press conference to reaffirm own relevance | | ng night of Elton John and Tim Rice's CENTCOM a smash | | Extras from next Star Wars movie mistaken for surrendering Iraqis | | John Madden joins FOX News war coverage | | US dropping high-interest credit card offers on Iraqi troops | | ''Rent-a-riot'' deployed into Baghdad | | President Launches Attack Moments After ''American Idol'' Results Revealed | | CNN taps Hollywood for more exciting war footage | | North Korea prepares to launch Operation American Freedom | | Americans brace for war with massive supplies of salsa, chips, and beer | | President Bush gives Saddam two minutes to leave Iraq | | Bush supporters protest for war, more blowjobs | | Members of FreeRepublic.com disappear from Earth; Second coming of Christ suspected | | President: Elections to be phased out | | U.S. tests massive bomb of peace | | White House urges citizens to forgo ''French Kissing'' for ''Freedom Kissing'' | | Report: Freedom Fries may contain Communist Salt | | President's new healthcare plan merged with Iraqi war plans | | Homeland Security office: Don't use duct tape to seal shut your nose and mouth | | FOX News calls Florida election for Gov. Jeb Bush | | Florida bars all legal voters from election | | Nation's capital moved to Florida for final election push | | Overeager Democrat candidates running ads, debating | | Congress passes Iraq resolution with help from newcomer Senator Laden | | Poll: 87% of America ready to give Bush whatever he wants if he'll shut up about Iraq | | President demands approval to invade Canada | | Democrat attacks cross the line with childish cartoon ad | | President Bush to address his G.I. Joe action figures tonight | | Sales of Katherine Harris swimsuit calendar below projections | | President proposes new ''Monopoly money'' tax refund | | Democrat Report from Baghdad: Saddam really knows how to party | | Bush calls Saddam 'that mean man who tried to kill my pet hamster' | | Bush: My killer robots and I have 'one voice' | | President seeks authorization to invade Senate for 'regime change' | | Gore defects to Iraq | | Rich, White, Male, God-loving Heterosexuals endorse Bush-Brogan in Florida race | | Terrorists could be responsible for Hurricane Isadore |
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