WASHINGTON — Behind closed doors, the President has reversed his opinion on the Supreme Court’s recent decision to strike down a Texas law which made sodomy illegal.

The President originally voiced his disappointment in the Supreme Court decision to his closest aides, pointing out that it could be a setback to the nation’s family values which could eventually pave the way for the legalization of gay marriage.

“Sodomy… [It] reminds me of my initiation into Skull & Bones back at Yale,” remarked the President at the time. “Boy, that part was no fun.”

Over the last month, however, the President has had several private meetings with Political Adviser Karl Rove on the subject of sodomy from a political, religious, and technical viewpoint. Eventually, the President announced his personal support for sodomy in a meeting with advisers.

“I’ve learned today, after looking at a variety of medial charts and racy videos, that sodomy is a word which describes different types of sexual acts,” said President Bush to his advisers. “I personally support every one of them, as does Laura.”

“I’d like to urge all Texans, and all Americans, to use their new freedom of sodomy in the fight against terrorism,” the President said.