Houston — Halliburton, the second biggest oilfield service company in the world, announced today that their clone army has penetrated the defenses of Iran and has assumed control of the country’s reserve of petroleum resources.

The Houston-based company released a statement saying that “while Halliburton understands the U.S. government’s policy of not wanting to invade Iran at this time, our business interests made it a necessity to sustain our current growth. It’s just business.”

U.S. intelligence officials admitted that they had no idea the oil company formerly run by Vice-President Dick Cheney had amassed a massive army of clone warriors.

While the White House appeared startled by the development, financial advisers said that it was a smart move for Halliburton, which has grown considerably in recent months due to several subsidiary contracts in Iraq.

“This is a hostile takeover, in a sense, to allow Halliburton to continue to grow,” said CNBC’s Ron Insana. “It may be an ugly turn of events for the innocent people of Iran, but for the shareholders, it’s pure green.”

Vice-President Dick Cheney briefly spoke to the Halliburton stormtroopers before they moved from their strategic stronghold in Iraq. “The future of Halliburton is in your hands! Ha ha ha!” he said.